January Focus Follow Up

I can't believe that January is over and that February is starting tomorrow. Time just goes by too quickly these days.

This has been a great month but also a hard month. When I realized that I needed to make some changes if I wanted change to happen, my attitude has shifted for the better. Things aren't upsetting me like they used to, I'm able to handle each little crisis with a better perspective and I've been trying to think things through before reacting. But, the best part of all is that I've been trying to put Dan's needs above my own (or at least closer to the top of my "To Do" list) and it has proven to be very effective.
Now, I know that I promised a list of things I would do for Dan each day - I don't have one. While talking with Dan a day or two after my post, he informed me that he thought organizing was BORING (gasp)! So, there went half of my list! However, it was good because it made me realize that I needed to do something for him that he would appreciate and he felt love from...not what my idea of showing love is.

If any of you have taken the Love Language quiz, you'll know what I am talking about. I'm one of those people that if the partner does the dishes or the laundry, I feel loved! Dan is not that person...so it wasn't going to be a matter of just doing things for him. So, I tried to say I love you more or cuddle with him at night (I'm not a cuddler...I like to have my side of the bed all to myself). However, I did make him special treats for him for work.

Anne and I made him these yummy peanut butter chocolate chip cookies, we made rice crispy treats, brownies and tonight we are going to have a double layer chocolate cake with chocolate frosting after dinner...his favorite! Food is one way to a man's heart, after all!
The most important part of all is that I had Dan on my mind on a more regular basis since I was always trying to think of what I could do for him each day. Sometimes it meant me TRYING to only say positive things to him (trying being the key word) or to let him get that extra 10 minutes of sleep before work.

One night, while Dan was gone to work and after Anne had gone to bed, I decided to do something I haven't done in a while. I decided to listen to the Matt Townsend show online (talk radio show on KSL) while playing Solitaire. I clicked on one titled Reinventing Date Nights...Reinventing Marriage. He talks about making a better effort to date your spouse. So, I brought it up with Dan and he is on board! We are going to just do one date night a month (he doesn't have a regular work schedule so we can't say every Friday night) and we are each going to take turns planning. I'll be starting off in February and we'll go from there.

So, the summary of this FOCUS is that whatever you decide is most important to you, and that you devote most of your time to, is what is going to be a big part of your life. It can't be the only part since we have so many other things going on, however we can't let those other things become the main part causing those we love to be left in the dust and wondering if we still love them.

Oh, and thank you to all of my friends who wrote such nice things about me and that I couldn't possibly be so self-centered. Umm...wait until you read tomorrow what my FOCUS is for next month! Ha, ha!